Another Day, Another Douchbag

Every once in while there is the exceptional douchbag that comes along that rejuvenates my motivation in why I have chosen to study criminal justice and work in the law enforcement field. Time and time again and day after day I cross paths with the same drunks and degenerates, but knowing that people like Casey Anthony are behind bars allows me to find some solice in that fact. No, she has not yet been convicted of murdering her two year old daughter Caylee, but nonetheless, law enforcement is not taking any chances of recreating the JonBenet Ramsey incident.

In case you are not familiar with the Caylee Anthony situation, the child is two years old, and her 'disappearance' wasn't reported to the authorities for approximately a month. She went "clubbing" shortly after her daughter's disappearance and had stated that she wished she had given the child up for adoption. Well, you should have!



Evidence has been collected that shows that a decomposing body was, in fact, in the vehicle belonging to Casey, the child's mother. The mother still claims that she is innocent and is pleading for the public to search for her daughter. HELLO! You killed her! Stop waisting everyone's time with your drama and admit what you've done and let your daughter's memory be salvaged with some kind of dignity!



This woman is in jail on other charges as well, including check fraud. This doesn't mean she's a killer in and of itself. But law enforcement is making sure that she stays in jail until they find Caylee's body. It's pathetic that this woman is sitting in jail and letting the poor grandparent's continue to drag lakes for their dead granddaughter's body when she could just say where she is and let them give her some kind of memorial. Instead she wants to let it drag on in the hopes that her daughter's body will not be found and that without the body they won't have a case against her. Wrong, Casey. Cases are prosecuted without the body everyday.

Casey Anthony is the exact depiction of human scum. Her valueless life, similarly to that of other worldly scum, has effected yet another innocent human life. Because of her desire to party, feel good, and rebel against her parents and the system, a sweet little child lost her life in God only knows what kind of horrific way. I hope that Casey Anthony receives the death penalty for her actions. It is unfortunate however, that they will ultimately have to take that penalty of the table to get the truth out of her about the crime she has committed.

No I Didn't

I feel like I have entered the "Twilite Zone." Headlines on CNN such as "Kenya Declares National Holiday" and "Obama Win Overwhelms Africa"... not to mention "Black Kennedy" or "Obama, Bigger Than Football", are sounding somewhat audacious at this point. Did the the United States elect their next President or did the human race come upon a savior who will inspire global change?

Every time I turn around there is another person making the statement, "Yes, I did!", proudly implicating that they voted for Obama and are ready for a change. I have seen t-shirts and stickers stating, "I Voted Obama-Biden". People are hugging and hopeful and then there is me, cynical and annoyed. I just want to yell, "NO I DIDN'T!", back at them.



Realistically, I knew that Obama was going to win. The younger generation and pretty much anyone who wasn't white was going to vote for him. This is a comprehensive amount of the population. Anyone fearful of another Bush ending up in office voted for Obama as well. Younger people want change. However, they lack the life experience to understand how change must be conveyed. Minorities were so concerned with making history and overcoming oppression that they let winning supercede logic and cast their votes based on race. To consider McCain to be anything similar to Bush is ludicrous. McCain might not be the ideal candidate for President but he certainly isn't the terrorist that Bush is.

Honestly, I really hope that Obama will be able to achieve all of the grand accomplishments that he has been giving speeches and debating about and has been able to get the world enraptured over. Obama has promised alot and has taken on the responsibilty of changing the lives of millions of American citezens. Personally, I don't think that I should be criticized for having extreme doubts about this stranger.

We will see what the future will bring. Maybe Obama "can" or maybe he will fuck all up even worse. The best thing about America is that either way, it's on our shoulders because we gave him the job and all of his new found power... our future and our children's future in the palm of Barak Hussein Obama's hands. Comforting.

The Big Promo

I have not blogged in what seems like a century. This is due to what has been my extremely busy work life and home life. I cannot describe, in words, how hectic my world has truly been, so I will attempt to sum it up with... I have been busy. The end. I don't like to be away from my blog for extended periods of time. This is whether I have avid followers or not. Even if I have one or two people that take time out of their busy lives to read about the crazy crap that I went through during my day, well, that's important to me. If they can find a little humor in it, well, that's even better.

On of the most major turn of events that has taken place in my life is the big promotion. Well, yes, someone upstairs decided that I should be in charge of some things. I took this as a very flattering change of pace and I have egarly accepted the change. Little did I know the change that was in store. As your average "beat" officer, if you will, you can patrol, walk around, drive, and basically do whatever you feel the need to do without major concern. If trouble arises... call a supervisor. Well, being the supervisor that is always called upon is certainly interesting.

I thought I was attacked and verbally abused as an officer... not even close. Promotion comes... I think someone has painted a target on my face.



Civilians complain to me. Officers complain to me. Everyone... they all complain to me. I suppose this is part of the responsibility. And that is fine. I actually enjoy hearing what people have to say, if it isn't bitching. For some reason when people find out you are a supervisor, they label you as a shrink and God. Why? Because they want to tell you all there feelings and they think you can fix all their problems. Well, in all honesty, not much has changed except my pay grade and stress level.

Realistically, I knew this was going to happen. I do enjoy my new position and I like having more/different responsibility. I am just somewhat amused as to the standard that "supervisors" are held up to just because of their title.

Laboring On Labor Day Weekend

Labor Day weekend is full of fun and excitement for so many. People are out enjoying their last summer vacations, partying, going to BBQ's with friends and family, drinking beer and just having some good old fashion American fun. Then there are those of us Americans who are still left laboring throughout the weekend. I mean, afterall, the entire country can't just take the weekend off, right?

Well, it isn't that I get so much that I am angry that I am always forced to work on these types of holiday weekends as it is that I become humored by it. I have become accustomed to the fact that holiday weekends can be some of the most adventuresome. The weekend has already started of with a bang... there were two incidents last night where people were not just casually taken to the hospital for illnesses, they were rushed to the hospital for life threatening ailments.

People get wasted on holiday weekends, especially Labor Day...



I think they wake up at about a quarter to four in the morning and pop open a can of Bud Light to get their day started. By the time the evening rolls around everyone's brains have turned into what I can only describe as jello. All of the weed smoking and beer along with the classic 80's tunes they've been listening to all day has clouded their judgement. With all of the beef that is consumed on Labor Day weekend at BBQ's I wouldn't be surprised if food poisoning or Mad Cow disease was a factor in the insanity as well. Now the fun begins...



This is about the time where if you happen to be traveling the roadways, and I don't recommend that you do, you will notice an increased amount of emergency lights on the side of the road. This is because everyone who was having 'so much fun' all day, decided to go ahead and drive home. The person pulled over can only mutter... "No officer, that isn't my joint in the ashtray, my Bud Light in the cup holder, or my Kenny Roggers in the CD player!"



I would rather not be working on Labor Day weekend. However, I plan to at least be entertained by what I must be forced to see over the weekend as anyone else who must work should, as well. I hope that everyone else has a fun and safe weekend.

The Tragedies That Make A Difference

So it seems that drinking and driving will never become something that people will begin to take seriously. By seriously, I mean that when they consider the factors before getting behind the wheel of a car, they assume that there is a strong possibility that they will no longer be alive after the trip, and that a funeral will be held in their honor.

Why does it take tragedy and horrible, morbid events to occur before people realize what the ramifications of their simple, every day actions can become? I am certainly not claiming to be innocent by any means, however, if I can't learn from my own mistakes then I will most certainly learn from someone else's. By this I mean, statistically I know how many people die each year in alcohol related incidents, so I changed my ways from whence I was younger and began to think of such things before I would drive drunk such as, "Would my mother really like to have to plan my funeral this week or have to see me lying cold and dead in a casket?" "Would my child grow up okay without his mother present?" Well, I always answer these types of questions with the answer, "NO.".

When I think of what can happen because of such wreckless behavior I become nauseated. To think of how such a [stupid] decision, to drive drunk, can effect so many people. The choice is SO selfish. I know at the time that people don't look at it that way. They are thinking, "I am not that drunk!" or "It's not that far of a drive." No one wants to have to find a way back to their car the next day after they get a sober ride home, but, think of the alternative... What if you don't live to see the next day at all? Every day people drive past road side memorials and crosses either completely disregarding their presence entirely or momentarily thinking, "That's sad.", then they continue driving, never really considering the tragedy that occurred in that spot or that it could happen to them.



So, back to all who are effected by such a tragedy by someone who chooses to drive drunk... Well, there are always the immediate family members such as the parents, siblings, children, grandparents, the significant other and their family, etc. Then there are countless friends and co-workers. The parents are the hardest to think about for me because now that I am a parent I picture my own child being ripped away from me and I cannot describe the pain I feel other than an excruciating burning inside of my chest... To hear a police officer tell you that your child (no matter how old they are they are still your child) has been in a wreck and they did not survive, to then have to see their broken body and identify it, and then somehow, under all of the grief and anger you are feeling, plan a funeral within the days after their tragic death... How could one bear that? To think of the same baby that I gave birth to and just twenty some odd years later having to put that same child back into the ground because of something that could have been avoided... the grief would be too immense to know unless you actually experienced it.

The fact is that people just don't realize how much love people around them have for them. Before a decision is made that could effect the lives of so many, maybe it should first be considered, "Is what I am about to do really worth it?"



Over the next three days I will be attending two wakes and two funerals of two people that were way too young to die. Such a tragic loss was suffered here. When I look at the pictures and read the news paper articles, I can't help but think that only one good thing can come of this... and that is that people will learn from what has happened here and when they are about to make the decision between drinking and driving or not to, they will think of this loss and know that You read about people dying every day on the news or read about it in the paper. If you are in the line of work then you may even see it every day. But, it is never the same as when you lose someone that you know or love. Those are the tragedies that remain in your mind forever.

Is A Shower Too Much To Ask For?

I don't get nauseated by odors very easily. However, there is one odor that can cause be to vomit almost immediately as the scent hits my nose... and that is body odor. Body odor is the one smell that I just cannot tolerate. I have to deal with so many different types of people in my line of work and sometimes some of them just smell like the inside of a dumpster.

There are too many ways in this day in age for a human being to deodorize their self. From the good old shower to throwing on some extra deodorant; even smelling like too much cologne is better than smelling like a trash can. There are people in this world, who despite the availability of a shower and deodorizing products, still seem to radiate a scent that I can only describe as putrid ass.



How long does it really take to jump in the shower and cleanse? Five minutes? Ten? Maybe even fifteen minutes for a man if they are feeling really motivated. Don't people realize that they stink if they don't shower every day? And if you don't care about your odor for yourself, think about the rest of us who are forced to interact with you.



I especially find it amusing when you have those women carrying Coach purses or the men wearing designer suits who you know haven't seen the inside of a shower for more than forty-eight hours. If you can afford those things, you should be able to afford some soap, right? I think I am just going to start carrying a pocket size body spray and any time someone that smells comes close to me I am going to spray them down and let them have it. Is that really too extreme?

I don't think it is... If you think about it if a stranger just came up and grabbed you would you get angry and yell at them and probably become very irate? I think it is along the same lines because these people have created an odor that is invading your personal space or "bubble", if you will. So, if you think you may be smelly and you want to be near me without getting sprayed down with AXE in a public setting, I would advise just taking a quick five minute shower in the morning. Happy cleansing. Just remember, if you look like you smell like shit, then you probably do. And odor is always stronger than designer cloths.

The Special Doctor

Every year women get to make a special trip to a doctor that men do not get to make. This doctor gets to see the side of a woman that they themselves never get to see. Men may simply refer to their family practice or general physician for yearly check ups but women must make an appointment with a doctor who specializes in a specific region of their bodies. I am referring to the gynecologist.

I don't know about other women but I really enjoy my yearly visit to the gynecologist. My gyno has been my mother's doctor since long before I ever needed an OBGYN and he has been my doctor since my very first appointment. Now, you're probably thinking, "He?"... Yes, "He." I have always had this eerie feeling that every woman gynecologist is lesbian and since I couldn't deal with a lesbian feeling around down there I decided it would be best to have a male gyno. I also decided that since my doctor is about seventy years old, he's probably seen so much, well... ya know... that it can't be that appealing him to him any more and when he's down there it will be strictly business.




So, back to why I enjoy my yearly visit and relationship with my gyno... My doctor is a wealth of knowledge, about women, there bodies, and gives unbiased advice about so many different subjects such as birth control, babies, relationships, etc. How many men can do that? Also, when I get done with my visit, the doctor doesn't call and harass me to see him again for a year... an entire year.

Anyway, so once again I had my fabulous visit with my once a year friend that most women don't dare to talk about and, for those who care, all is well. My only quam is that it is a rather distant drive, however, for such a dependable physician, I will make the trip. So, until next year, Doctor, continue being awesome doing what it is that you do for woman kind.

My Thoughts On Lazy Bums

There are some people in this world that refuse to grow up. I can empathize with wanting to remain a child forever because being a child is much less stressful then being an adult. You don't have to worry about money, i.e, gas prices, bills, etc. You don't have to worry about relationships other than the ones you have with your family, for the most part, and your largest concern every day is what you are going to have for dessert after dinner. The fact of the matter is, that despite how much one may enjoy the simplicity that being a child affords you, you simply cannot remain a child forever. If you try to, you simply become a very large human being, (not considered an adult), and the people around you begin to loath your very existence.

Now, some people think that they should be able to do and act how they choose because it is their choice and it doesn't hurt anyone, others should mind their own business. However, every bum in this world effects other people. If you aren't making any money, where are you getting it? The government. Where does the government get their money? My paycheck. So yes, you are taking money, however indirectly, out of my pocket if you choose to be lazy. If you are a worthless parent you affect your child(ren) and their other parent. If you are a lazy sibling or child you affect your family.

At some point in life one should realize that there is no excuse for making the same amount of money at thirty, that you did when you were sixteen. It should dawn on a person that being responsible is going to benefit you, not hurt you. It's okay to rebel against the system, without hurting those around you. Your biggest success in life should not be being able to play a Guitar Hero song on "expert" all the way though.

This is what the last generation's Guitar Hero champion looks like today:




It's sad, I know. Life is about having fun and enjoying life. But if my tax dollars are supporting your pot habit, then I disagree with your lifestyle and I think you should go jump of a cliff and end your worthless life. And anyway, this is what pot and the over eating from its affects does to you after years of use:





I think if these two could go back in time that they would have made some different choices. They may have put down the pipe and chips, turned off the television, went for a jog, showered a time or two, put some effort into finding a job making more than $5.50 an hour and tried to give their lives a decent effort. They could have even saved me a buck or two with a little motivation.

Parking = Pain In My...

Do you ever feel like the parking structure of a facility, a parking lot or garage per say, is setting you up for tragic failure? Parking lots and garages at busy and crowded facilities are horrible. I am surprised that there are not people killed daily at malls and grocery stores world wide after getting backed over by an SUV.



Parking lots and garages at busy places should have wide spaces, illuminated signs guiding traffic, and cones to block areas where vehicles should not enter. These cones should be large enough to be seen by the driver of the average size sedan when they look behind them when they are backing out of their parking space. This is what should be in a parking lot or garage.



Instead of using these guidelines, establishments would rather pack in as many parking spaces into a parking lot as they can, plaster a sign up that says their store isn't liable for any damages caused to your vehicle while you park it in the parking lot that they own, and hope for the best. They don't use any signs to guide traffic and if they do have cones, they are about a foot tall so you can't see them.


This brings me to what occurred today. I was backing out of the garage parking spot at the mall I could hear something knocking underneath my car. I had turned and looked several times before I backed out. I saw nothing. I stopped and looked around and saw nothing. When I was finally able to maneuver my way out of what felt like the most confined space I had ever been in, in my entire life, I looked back into my rear view mirror to notice this minature cone that was just placed in my pathway and that was what was under my car. I got out of my car and checked for scratches on the bumper and there weren't any. This was a good thing for those who were working the customer care kiosk today at the mall.



I was slightly angry about this experience. I wanted to take that cone and throw it at security on the way out. I should have. From now on I am just going to park sideways and take up two or three spots so I can back out easily and avoid any dwarf cones that may scratch my car. Of course then my car will most likely get keyed by some one who's mission in life is to rid the world of those who park outside of the lines. I could pay someone to guard my crooked car while I am in the mall... Whatever.

Don't Tap The Keg Just Yet

It happened. Anheuser-Bush sold out to InBev for $49.91 BILLION. Americans were the makers of the best beer in the world and now it's the Belgians. Doesn't it make you proud to be an American when bits and pieces of America's heritage are being auctioned off to the highest bidder? The Chrysler Building was sold last week to a man named, Abu Dhabi... Abu Dhabi? After this big sale I begin to wonder what will be next. I also wonder what InBev is going to do to the beer. Will they leave it the same or will our American beer begin to have a Belgian after taste?



Maybe I am so concerned because, growing up in Missouri, I spent countless afternoons at Grant's Farm with my family or at Bush Stadium watching a Cardinals game. I would also like to include the hundreds of high school and college party memories that can be attributed to thousands of Bud Lights. In Missouri, A-B products are all around you. Nevertheless, I suppose I am not too surprised at this sale because EVERYTHING is for sale in the USA.

It's amazing what people will do to make a quick buck. It wasn't like the owners of A-B weren't already billionaires. It seems they just weren't big enough billionaires. I just hope that thousands of America's blue collar workers don't lose their jobs because of this whole "deal." I also hope that eventually America isn't 100% foreign owned.

Bush: We'll Be Sad To See You Go...

Bush has done so much for this country. In his eight years as leader we have endured terrorism with questionable motives, a war that still has no real end in sight, and an economic recession attributed to the highest gas prices ever seen and the fact that America is still funding this same war that is not ending, these are just a few examples.



But Bush comforts us with his wise thoughts and eloquent phrases. I would like to share a few that I have heard over time and that have really touched my heart.

"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." -at the President's Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

You're funny, George.

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." --interview with CBS News' Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006

I think their connected...

"Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualties." --discussing the Iraq war with Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson in 2003, as quoted by Robertson

No casualties? Ok.

"I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." --on "Good Morning America," Sept. 1, 2005, six days after repeated warnings from experts about the scope of damage expected from Hurricane Katrina

Oh George...

"People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you." --Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

Huh?

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." --Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

Well, thank you for finding ways to continually hurt us Bushy. We appreciate it!

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Guitar Hero Is My Hero

My son's father and I are not together any more. (3 years and running) It is way too long and dramatic story to tell but the long and short of it is: He cheated. I forgave. He became psychotically controlling due to his resulting insecurities. We fought. I left. The end.

So he does these things where he tries to use my son's emotions/actions to make me feel bad for us not being together as a "family." He still, after 3 years, doesn't believe that it's over for good. My son goes to his father's house on the weekends. Well, today my kiddo didn't want to come back to mommy's house. He wanted to stay with daddy. Well, my bright ex automatically contributed my child's wanting to stay with him to some type of psychological want for his parents to be back together. Ummm... no.... a BIG NO, in fact. When I asked my son, tonight, why he wanted to stay at daddy's he said, "Because daddy has Guitar Hero."



Well, I guess if I buy my son Guitar Hero he will want to stay with me again, right? I couldn't help but let out a little chuckle. My son's father was so set on the idea that my son's wanting to say at his house had "deeper meaning" and he kept repeating how "sorry" he felt for our son. That is so laughable. Don't get me wrong... I do feel sorry that life couldn't have been perfecto and worked out wonderfully for all of us but it didn't happen. I moved on.

I think I am going to go and get the kid Guitar Hero, though, just so we don't have this incident occur again. I mean, we don't want to have to book the poor thing an appointment with the shrink when all he needs is a little video game therapy, right?

I guess if my son's father had his way we would be back together, "for our son", fight all the time, hate each other, despise life... eventually have to send our son to a shrink from all of the chaos he would have to endure... OH WAIT... that makes perfect sense. Not so much.

I think I will stick with the video game and call it a day.

The White Guy vs. The Black Guy

So my department has been very short handed on the graveyard shift recently so being the kind person that I am, (and also the person in need of overtime compensation), I said that I would stay over and assist this weekend and work two twelve hour shifts instead of my normal eight. Now, don't get me wrong, I like action or I wouldn't be in this line of work, but it seems like once the clock hits midnight, people just starting acting crazy.

The day time ends and the night life begins and with it comes a whole new set of problems. If it isn't a fight it's a drunk, if it's not a drunk it's a noise complaint... one thing after the other. And you can't reason with these people, they are all combative and mostly intoxicated so nine out of ten situations always end badly. By badly I mean by someone going to jail or injured and me stuck writing a long ass report.

So my main concern here was that there was one particular incident last night where I was trying to get this intoxicated guy to find a ride home so that he didn't have to take a ride in a police car to a place he didn't want to go. I explained the situation to him a couple times and gave him a few minutes to use his phone to get in touch with his friends. Out of no where this older black lady comes chiming in with every bit of profanity she's ever learned in her life, cussing me out, the guy out, another officer... I didn't understand what she was so angry about. However, she is walking to her vehicle as she starts this rambling and actually gets into it and leaves so I let her go... let her be angry, that's her prerogative. But then there is another black couple that is standing on the sidelines and they chime in with, "Well, she is right, ya know." And I said, "About what exactly?" And this lady proceeded to tell me that if the intoxicated man that we were standing with were black that we wouldn't be letting him call his friends and we wouldn't be giving him a chance, we would have taken him straight to jail, or as the first lady put it, "Locked that mother f*cker up and thrown away the key!"



Well, there you go. Wasn't I so racist and mean to give that guy an opportunity to call his friends? And how did any of those passers by know what would have been happening if a black man would have been standing in his place? Who gave them the right to judge and be so racist? If that white guy wouldn't have been cooperative he would have gone straight to jail but he was. He knew he had to call it a night and I was willing to work with him to an extent. It saves me and him a hassle.

Those people standing by making their comments just show how ignorant some people can really be. I was doing the right thing and not being the asshole officer and still had to hear someone say something about my actions. They would have been happier if the white guy would have gone straight to jail BECAUSE he was white and because that's what they felt would have happened to a black man.

This is a prime example of why I am in law enforcement and people like those who were involved in that incident are not. They cannot control their emotions. They would rather start conflict than avoid it. They always see themselves as victims rather than an advocate to bring peace into this world. If the next black person I come into contact with deserves a break then they will get one just like the white guy. I am just disappointed that grown men and women would act so childish.

Oh well, maybe I will see those people around sometime... and they will want a break.

Friend Confusion

Sometimes I get really confused at how people can just change so quickly. Someone who you think you really know well can turn into someone you barely know at all. It becomes extremely disappointing when you realize that a person you have come to depend on for what they give you by just being their self and they are changing or showing that they are a completely different person all together.

I don't think that friends realize how much we truly depend on them just to be who they always are to us. After all, who they are to us is what drew us to them in the first place. When someone begins to change, and not so much for the better, it brings about a rift that effects others as well. If the change is positive then it will positively reflect on others. If it is negative, then it will negatively effect others.

It's just really sad when the people you really wouldn't ever expect to betray your trust, do. It isn't inevitable. There are people that can remain trustworthy for the long-term. It just so happens that this is few and far between. I appreciate my true friends. Bottom line, admit your true character when you first befriend someone in order to avoid disappointment later.

It hurts my heart when someone I truly respect and admire ends up doing something that utterly disappoints me. Even worse, if I give that person advise not to make that particular mistake and they do it anyway... well then I feel like a failure as well.

I know that when you trust and love someone you carry the risk of being disappointed. So therein lies the question of whether or not one should even take the risk of caring. Well, when the stab of heart break comes after someone you love hurts you in some way it is really easy to say that you should just live with your guard high. However, I disagree with this theory. My theory goes more along with the, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.", theory. This way you never discount someone who could truly remain a great and honest friend while disregarding the friends that choose to hurt you.

Gas Prices And No Solution

The cost of living is ever increasing. Between the cost of gasoline increasing along with everything else that we purchase daily, weekly, monthly, it imperative that we, as a society, do what we can to bridge the gap between our current income and our increasing expenses without putting ourselves into debt. It would be pretty horrible to look back ten years from now, knowing that you can attribute thousands of dollars of your debt to gasoline.

I become increasingly frustrated at peoples gas saving solutions because not many of them assist me in any way. For example, work closer to home. Okay, well, I will just quit my job then and find any random job, closer to home, that pays half as much as long as it helps me save on drive time. No. Or, buy a motorcycle. That's a great idea, except for the added loan payment every month and where would I put my four year old son on that thing?

As far as who is incurring the profits from this surge in oil prices... the constant cynicism as to who exactly the try culprits are changes from day to day. I just hope whoever they are, that they are enjoying the billions of dollars they are pulling out of America's pocket books. Honestly, what can we do about this? Gas strikes? Could everyone really pull together for one day to "stand up" against the oil companies? I doubt it.

As far as what I will do for now, go to http://www.gasbuddy.com to help me find the cheapest gas prices so I don't have to drive around and look. I am not going to drive anywhere that isn't really necessary or a special occasion. I really just can't afford it. There isn't an end in sight to these raging gas prices either. If they reach $6.00/gallon, I really won't be driving anywhere but work! Actually, then I will just be working to drive to work... but hey.

5.11 Shorts

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What Goes Up...

Birthday and traffic tickets... do these two things go together? I don't really think they are supposed to. However, in my world, they do.

I was driving home from WORK last night, (and I want to emphasize that I was working on my b-day as well), when I approached my home and I looked into my rear view mirror, only to see those dreaded headlights that we can all recognize as a police officer's vehicle headlights, and as I turned to park those infamous red and blue flashing lights flipped on as I almost knew they were going to.

I rolled down my window and began the whole process of politely asking what the problem was and hoping that my birthday was going to get me out of a ticket. Well, it didn't. I actually acquired two tickets, in fact, and I won't go into details but let's just say that it was all I could do to abstain from becoming the "bad cop" in this situation. It was almost like this police officer was trying to teach me a lesson because I should "know better" and it his his solemn duty to make sure that I don't commit another offense again based on his actions this night.

Nothing was going to save me from these tickets, not a birthday, not batting my eyelashes, not being a fellow law enforcement officer... nothing.

I can't help but wonder how that situation could have went differently. What could I have said to make that officer give me a break? The answer is, nothing. He wanted to do what he did so he did it. It is just that simple. I think that people over analyze these situations a little too much, trying to get a break when it really has nothing to do with their powers of persuasion. There are too many other factors involved.

What happened last night really upset me. I just couldn't believe that such a thing could happen on a day when nothing is supposed to go wrong. Now I have to get a lawyer, explain to my employer why I incurred to traffic violations, pay fines that I can't really afford (who can?), and catch up on the sleep I lost over this last night. Today, I felt and feel much better. I think it was partially that when I looked into my future I could see hundreds of dollars bursting into flames and the look of marked disdain on my boss' faces when I am telling them about this incident. As time moves along I realize that the situation really isn't that intense. After all, my violations weren't serious, not criminal and nothing that will be held against me long term so long as I handle them in a timely and appropriate manner.

One thing that I will do is probably give that next person a break, in lieu of the break I did not receive on my birthday. Sometimes mercy is something that you can pay forward even when you didn't receive it but wish that you had.

Reason

Heraklietos of Ephesos:

Whosoever wishes to know about the world must learn about it in its particular details.
Knowledge is not intelligence.
In searching for the truth be ready for the unexpected.
Change alone is unchanging.
The same road goes both up and down.
The beginning of a circle is also its end.
Not I, but the world says it: all is one.
And yet everything comes in season.

I read this and the words really meant something to me. I guess because it says something I have been trying to say for a long time. Every event in your life happens for a reason. Everything causes change. All is one? It really is. And every lesson eventually reveals itself in time.

PayPerPost

I have officially joined payperpost and I just love it. I can actually get paid to blog about the things that I love. Since writing is one of my passions, putting my skills and opinions to work to make some money is a great idea! I heard about payperpost from a fellow blogger who thought I may like the site. They were certainly right. I also get to read other blogs and read thoughts and posts from other people. With the extra money I earn from payperpost I am going to enjoy some extra things I normally wouldn't spend money on, such as, that night out to dinner, that new out fit, etc. This site has great earning potential and you can take opportunities as much or as little as your schedule or desire allows. I really enjoy looking through the opportunities and seeing what I will potentially be interested in sharing my opinion about. I would encourage any blogger to come visit the payperpost website and see if being paid to blog is something they would be interested in doing. I know I certainly was. This site lets you write, get paid for it, and make new friends. I can't wait to see what future "opportunities" being a Postie will bring.

May's Lesson

In the closing out of May of 2008, my twenty-fourth May on this earth, I have come to learn a few things about people I didn't know before. Maybe I did know these things but I just didn't see them as clearly as I do now.

For one, best friends are people who stick with you through the good times and the bad... This I already knew. I just hadn't witnessed it first hand in a while. A best friend is someone who is willing to completely alter a relationship they have with another person they have in their life because of you, in order to stand up for you and what is right. I witnessed someone really stand up for me and it was rejuvenating and gratifying all at the same time. I felt so thankful.

Second, never judge a person by their initial appearance. A person you trust at first and think is compatible with your personality, someone you could become great friends with, could truly end up being one of your worst enemies within a short time frame. Do not be over cautious. However, I saw someone go from angel to devils advocate in less than a month. That has to be a record. Also, someone I originally distrusted has become someone I really and truly care for.

Third, people are different and ever changing. Good people stay the same. Going to the right person who can solve a problem is the best way to make a change. I know a truly good person who is willing to go out of their way to make sure that things are right without any fear of backlash from what others will have to say.


I am proud of those who do the right thing. I am so thankful you are in my life. You really are an example that others should follow. For those who go out of their way to hurt others and cause pain, I would only say you should consider that their is probably enough pain in the world without you adding to it.

But it seems that no matter how difficult things become, things have a way of working themselves out. I have figured out a lot this month. I have learned that I could make it through a year on this earth without my father. I never thought I would be strong enough to do that. I am still moving toward my goals having incurred no significant failures that come to mind and for that I am grateful. I am especially appreciative that my child is doing fabulously better with his allergies and I have no health issues of which to complain.

Sometimes I am amazed at how much I can learn in such a short time... not just from a lecture or a text book, but from interaction with everyone around me. Life is certainly a lesson every single day. This month I learned that I have a tough life but a great life and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Happiness List

Some things I am exceedingly grateful for and enjoy:

my wonderful son, best friends, cozy bed, entertaining magazines, heart touching movies, songs that I sing a long to, cupcakes, sleeping in, fresh fruit, beauty everywhere, penny wishes, smiling strangers, my parents (here and not), passing exams, clear skin (most days), a sassy black dress, safety, reliable transportation, health, love letters, bonfires, and speedy internet connection, and forgiveness!

A Perfect Man

Why is it that when it comes to relationships, intimate relationships that is, life has to be so difficult? I suppose that life is difficult in many other ways, of course, but for me this is a particular point of interest in my life at this time. I have always been extremely independent. I suppose I gained that trait by being raised by a single mother. I was in two long term relationships, one where I almost ended up married but thank the mighty Lord in Heaven that said blasphemy didn't come to pass... I finally escaped that damned relationship, jumped through a few dead ends and found a true love that I lost tragically to cancer almost two years later. So now it is a little over a year later and I have dated very little but I am ready to begin again. I feel like I am missing something. I just don't know what...

I have never "dated" before. I have never had to sell myself and I really don't feel like I need to now, persay. I get crushes a lot. They seem to be on all of the wrong men, though. Appearances are SO deceiving and I never realized how deceiving they actually were, in terms of relationships, until now. I will see a guy and think he is attractive, work my feminine magic and end up hanging out with him a few times and then BAM! ... he's insane, in some way, shape, or form. Either he gets too clingy or I find out he still lives at home with his parents for no good reason or he's an alcoholic or SOMETHING. Or, I will find someone attractive, he will feel the same, flirt, and then drop the, "Oh, i'm engaged.", bomb on me down the road. What is wrong with this picture?

I don't get why it has to be so complicated and why people have to change or soup themselves up to be something that they aren't. You are going to have to reveal your true self later on down the road anyway so you might as well just be up front and proud of who you are now. Confidence is sexy anyway.

Yes, I am independent, hard to read, a tough chick in law enforcement and most guys don't know how to handle all of that. If we're out together and there's an issue i'll be the one who stands up to handle it first. I am not overly emotional, my son is the most important man in my life, and I know that I have everything I need within MYSELF to achieve great things. Maybe these traits reflect why I am single or maybe they will be what my perfect match is looking for... Who knows? Time will tell.

I know I can't pick out my perfect man. God will and already has done the picking. Until then I just have to be patient and know that what I go through now is only preparing me for what I will be living later. Just because I think I want something doesn't mean it's time for me to have it. I know this. But, eventually, I will meet the not so clingy, non drunk who lives in a somewhat decent place of his own, who is single and loves me for me and doesn't want me to change a thing about myself. It doesn't seem like a lot, but I have yet to find it all, and I refuse to settle for less... and no woman ever should.

What If

Okay. So, if you are lucky in life you come across someone who most likely is the person you should marry. They love you, care for you, would do anything for you. Things are going great between the two of you and life is grand and then for some crazy reason you go and decide that you don't like this person any more. First, you start picking out every little thing that bugs you about the person. I mean LITTLE stuff that before you probably thought was cute. Over time it even begins to disgust you. Then, you start to pick fights for no reason. You know they didn't mean anything by what they just said but you choose to blow it up into a huge thing ordeal like you are just SO deeply offended and that this has been an ongoing thing with that person for some time now and you just haven't said anything because of how much YOU love THEM. Right.

So finally you are both arguing all the time and life is miserable and you have actually convinced yourself by now that you are the victim in this relationship and in one final heated argument, you both call it quits. Whew! Freedom is finally here for you. But, is it really? You are finally single again and you are free to go on about your marry way to date who you want, do what what want, and answer to no one. Time goes by and you are just having so much fun... or are you? Are you still single? Did you find someone better who didn't annoy you like you thought you would? Are you really enjoying all of those nights alone or even worse nights with with different faces that mean nothing to you at all? Was what you chose to give up really worth losing?

Well, my friend, if it was worth it, then you are one of the lucky few and I would like to shake your hand. I just know what it's like to see the person that you lost and cut from your life, for what ever reason, a few months down the road and you both look at each other and you both know there was no good reason for why you did what you did. You know right then how you truly broke their heart and there's nothing you can say except just to greet them in passing and just walk the other way, because YOU made the choice.

Sure, you wonder what they are doing from time to time and if life is treating them and you hope with your whole heart that it is. Who knows what could have happened in your lives if you wouldn't have been so curious if the grass was greener on the other side of the fence? Who knows what could have happened if you would have worked through your own feelings instead of projecting them onto that innocent person who did nothing but want to love you? Who knows?

Well, I suppose in the end everything happens for a reason and you will always learn a lesson from every decision that you make. Just choose to make the decision never to let, or better yet, FORCE a wonderful person to walk out of your life because you are scared, insecure, too independent, or whatever the reason. Make educated choices because you have to live with them forever and they effect others as well. Never live a day of your life having to ask yourself, "What if?"

A Hard Lesson

I knew I loved my loved my father and that he was significant part of my life, but I didn’t know just how much he affected my life until he was no longer in it. My father lived in California and I live in Missouri so I did not get to see him very often. There was a trip coming up in June of last year, to go visit my father before I would be leaving for basic training because I had enlisted in the National Guard. My father didn’t really approve of this but he supported me my goals, nonetheless. I spoke on the phone with my father often and I knew he was ill, as he had been suffering from COPD for several years as well as been a recovering alcoholic. Up until the summer of 2006 I had had a relatively up and down relationship with my father because of his illness but during our family reunion that August, I saw how he had truly recovered and I was able to begin a new relationship with him. The entire next year was amazing as I became so close to a man I felt I would never be able to truly know. I was so excited that I was going to be able to see him soon because I missed him so much.

Then, one spring morning in May, I had stayed over at my best friend’s house along with a few others and we were all making breakfast, joking around, and laughing when my mother called. She asked me where I was and told me I needed to come to her house. I could tell that something was seriously wrong by the tone of her voice. She said, “Michelle, I just need you to come to my house. I need to talk to you, it’s about your dad.” Finally, I convinced her into telling me what was wrong. My mother then said, “Michelle, you dad had a heart attack this morning. The CPR didn’t work.” She started to cry. “He didn’t make it. I am so sorry.” Then I fell to my friend’s kitchen floor, crying hysterically. I was so shocked. I thought, “A heart attack? He had lung disease! This doesn’t make any sense!” I had just talked to him the day before. I was so confused. My friend took the phone from my hand and spoke with my mother. I was too distraught to drive so she drove me to my mother’s house.

I remember this chaotic feeling taking over my body like something I had never felt before. I had lost someone very close to me before but not so suddenly. I felt so angry, sad, confused, and cheated all at the same time. I just couldn’t believe what I was being told was actually true. However, it was very true and very horrible and I would have to face what was happening. I walked into my brother’s room, younger just by two years, and I hugged him like I never hugged him before. For so many years I looked after my little brother and protected him. But, this was the moment where I needed him to console me. He held me for about twenty minutes while I cried. He was the strong one this time. I think he knew before I even walked in the door how I was going to be taking this whole situation. My brother and I have always been close, but from that day forward, we have been closer in a different way. The way we had to support each other and still have to, to this day, had built a closer bond between us.

From the day my father died my life began to change. I began to view my role as a sister, a parent, a daughter, and a friend so much more differently. I know that every day on this earth is so important and that the choices we make do affect the people around us, even if we don’t think that they do. As a sister, I know that I must be dependable a support system in times of tragedy. As a parent, I know that every thing I do, my child will see. I want him to always be close to me and never have to go through any gaps of our lives without experiencing the closest mother and son relationship that we can. I always want him to respect me and be proud of me. As a daughter, I always want to remain close with my mother and support her. I know how quickly you can lose someone that you love. I have become so much closer to my family members and close friends. I have gone out of my way to show them how much I care because at any second, the fragile life we have been given could be instantly taken away.

I thought that my new relationship with my father meant many years awaited us that would be full of happy memories. I couldn’t wait until June so I could bring my son to finally meet his Grandfather for the first time. Sadly, that day never did come. But because of how it broke my heart to realize that my son and father would never meet in this life, I have made it my mission to always be forgiving and to never hold a grudge or bitterness towards anyone because you never know what can happen. I hope that my father knew that I loved him with my whole heart and that no matter what happened in the past, I only cared about our future.

Allergies Are The Devil

Allergies are the devil. Oh yes, they are the devil. I really don't like to refer to things as the devil unless I truly view them as demonic but if you were one of the people who witnessed what allergies did to my innocent little boy last week then you too would feel that allergies were of some satanic force.

I dropped my son off at the baby sitter's house just like any other work day and he was perfectly fine. Now, he does have allergies and he takes medication everyday but they are manageable and I don't have to keep him indoors or anything that drastic. Next thing I know I have a voice mail that his eyes have began to water uncontrollably and have began to swell. What? I mean... He was fine a few hours ago!

So I call and the sitter says he is somewhat better and that he isn't upset and that I don't need to leave work. So I continue to work, keeping my ill son in the back of my mind. I end up leaving a little early anyway because I am concerned. So I get to the sitter's house and I wake my son up who is soundly sleeping and he can barely open his eyes! The goop has made his eyelids stick together! They are so swollen at the sight of which I almost burst into tears...

So I scoop him up and like any other mother who is concerned about their child's vision and overall well being, I take him to the ER. It isn't too late and there aren't too many people there so we get in to see the doctor rather quickly. The doctor proceeds to tell me that this is the THIRD child he has seen this evening with "allergy induced conjunctivitis." So, the only think of that would happily prey on little children is the devil, right? The doc prescribes my little one two different eye drops and we head home.

My little boy was so confused and in so much pain with all of the itching and burning. My heart just broke to look at his sweet face, all red and swollen. So I called his pediatrician the next day as well and he changed his regular allergy meds to two better, stronger, and newer medications. I really hope they work. He does look a lot better. He hasn't been allowed to play outside for a week to avoid environmental allergens. He can go out tomorrow, though. No child should be held captive in their home because they can get sick from the environment!

I know that my son is tough and that he won't let some allergies keep him from being the happy, amazing child he has always been. I have to say, I was unprepared as to how a little ragweed could take down a person quicker than a left hook! He is doing so much better and hopefully these new meds will help him to continue to improve. Allergies may be the devil but my baby is an angel and he's going to kick their ***.

Construction Terrorism

Imagine, everyday, you are going to have to leave your apartment or house at some point but you have to worry about whether or not you are going to be barricaded in by mass construction and workers with no concern of whether you are just going to the gas station or the emergency room. Sounds similar to the oppression of a third world country, I know.

For months now I have been dealing with road construction right outside of my small apartment complex. This wouldn't be a big deal except they have finally come down to the wire where they have to complete the road by the fourth of July for the parade or they will be in deep $%. So now, it is crunch time for the road workers and they are pulling out all of the stops to complete their project.

There are two exits to make it out of my complex. Everyday, they have one blocked off. Every couple of days it changes. So right when I think I going out the left I get stopped by some big orange cones and turned around and I have to go back. The next day it's the other side. This pattern, I finally became accustomed to.

Then, yesterday, I am running late for work and I am pulling out hoping the random side I choose to exit my apartment building on is the open side is the right one, I am confronted with big orange cones... okay, no surprise. I go to the other side expecting to be freed from my captivity when once again I am confronted by more big orange cones!!! I mean, this is an outrage!

First, I am always blocked on one side. Several times, I have had to park across the street and been blocked out with advance notice. But, NEVER had I been block in and trapped like an animal. I was furious. I jumped of my car, walked right up to the man next to the tractor standing about ten feet above my head, at least, and began to tell him how I felt and I let him hear about four months of construction victim emotions... poor guy. But really though, what if I would have been on my way to the ER and I was running late for work so that is important in itself!

Anyway, supposedly they didn't realize they had blocked in the residents and they made a path for me to drive out... taking about another twenty minutes... remember I am still running late. This was horrible. I absolutely despise construction. I really despise it in front of my apartment complex. Further, I cannot wait until July 4th, when I can declare my Independence from the oppression of MO-DOT GHad!

A Thought

Basically beating myself into the concept of an open mind and I must alter my ever basic instincts in order to be able to contrast the difference between right and the inevitable wrong.

Is it that I am afraid to achieve what want or is that I am terrified of achieving nothing after all of this effort.

I try not to invest too much effort into seemingly indescribable dreams but is that the error or is that the answer and the correct way to go about living my life. The answer, ironically, is that knowledge is the answer.

But knowledgeable, I am yet not and I only will become with the passing of the present time and as I walk into the future.

And so I am still left somewhat confused and in an off balance state of mind, but not ignorant as to my motivation. I know why I push forward and that is purpose enough for me.

The Christian Bear

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him.


He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.



He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God..."


Time stopped.


The bear froze.


The forest was silent.


It was then that a bright light shone down upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"


The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the bear a Christian?"


"Very well," said the voice.


The light went out.


And the sounds of the forest resumed.


Then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful. Amen."

101 Ways To Annoy People

101 Ways To Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

Thoughts To Ponder...

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries.
Do penguins have knees?
Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?
How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it?
Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?
Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel?
If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?
Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?
If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?
If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?
Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"?
Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?
Can you cry underwater?
You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?
If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?
Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color?
If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?
Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?
If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe?
If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets?
Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?
Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?
How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time?
If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"?
When the French swear do they say pardon my English?
Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head?

The End And The Beginning

The future was yesterday, is happening today, and will be tomorrow. With every end there is another beginning.

Every day we are working for something more and hopefully today, we are further than where we were yesterday.

Strength comes in waves... sometimes you are full of strength and could conquer the world... sometimes you wish you had even enough strength to conquer the day.

You push hoping that all the effort you are giving is getting you somewhere... When you get where you've been trying to go for so long, will it be the place you thought it would be? Will it be everything you dreamed?

So much counts on the decisions we make today. Or does it? Is it really that intense? If we fail is it easy to just pick up the pieces and start over again?

What if you work years to achieve a goal and realize it wasn't something you really wanted? Just start over? Deal with it? Hmmm...

There's pressure... that's obvious... because making good decisions really is important. I think what is more important though is realizing that it isn't your job or education that defines you... it's how you live your life.

Success or failure is relative. I would say that a person who failed 99 times out 100, each time with the hope that next time would be a success and never viewing their self as a failure was a success all along while the person who succeeded 99 times out of 100 and failed the final time couldn't get past the single failure and was miserable was actually a failure because of the way he perceived things.

So, here we are then... still pushing along... getting further to the finish... or do we ever truly reach a finish? I really don't think we do. I think it's just another end and a new beginning and we usually have more than several of these circulating in our lives at once.

It's funny how sometimes when you feel the weakest you are actually exhibiting your strongest qualities.

Everyday there's a new lesson to be learned. Sometimes you learn a lesson today from an action or actions from years ago when you weren't even the same person. Gotta love that karma...

I think life just has it's way of working itself out. I know that even when I am the most scared or sad and I don't know how things are going to turn out or what I should do next... I really do just trust God and things go in the right direction.

Friends And Enemies

Yet another late night blog... here it goes. So why do people feel the need to try and drag other people down all the time??? I mean, why is it that just because you are SO unhappy with your life that you have to try and make other people unhappy, too? I am just curious, ya know because it seems to me that misery really shouldn't be allowed to have any company. Misery should either be all alone sulking in a corner, NOT getting the attention it wants or at least only allowed to be around other miserable people. Leave the people who want to be happy alone! Shit!

I am talking about those kind of people who when you are really sad about something or are having a bad day and they ask you to tell them about it and then instead of consoling you or telling you things will be ok like a normal person would they instead try to "one-up" you by telling you about their horrible day or telling you about something tragic that happened to them. "Okay, well, guess I have no reason at all to be upset. My life is a bowl of cherries compared to yours. Now let's talk about you!" Right??? Or they always have these tragic stories to tell or these off the wall things that are or have happened to them and they want sympathy but you have already given them so much so the next time they walk up to you and say something like, "I need to talk... my dog got ran over and died today..." and you know they probably don't even have a dog your like "Oh, that really sucks, well, gotta run... "

Why, oh why, do people enjoy being unhappy, miserable, sad, pissed off, angry...etc. Why do they like arguing? What REALLY gets me is that there will be these certain things that they bitch about constantly, right? Let's take, oh... a specific item for example... Well, they are mad cause they can't have it. But every single time they have the opportunity to take this item like money, a career, a relationship, etc., and they have to work for it, they either won't work for it, they will somehow sabotage it on their own, and then continue to whine and complain about what they want and don't have even though they have had numerous opportunities to achieve what they SAY they want. It's like they would just rather bitch. WHY?

And why lie, really... about every thing that comes out of your mouth? For sympathy? For attention? For people to like you? Now I don't trust you, like you nor do I want anything to do with you. If you can't trust someone then what's the point? What's really funny is when the person who is bold face lying to you is making this SAME statement all the time like he or she is the pillar of trustworthiness. Yeah. You should be proud of who you are and what you stand for. I would have more respect for a homeless person who was honest about himself than a rich man who was so caught up in a web of lies that he didn't even know who he was any more.

It really is weird, friends, and I just don't understand. I just don't appreciate people trying to drain me of my positive energy. The energy I have is spread very thin but it's there and boosted because I choose it to be! I love my life, my family, being a mother of my gorgeous son, my great friends, school is great but hard work, work is long hours but a must do, but I do all these things with a smile on my face cause it's my life and I am proud and happy to be living it! It makes me sad when I have to cut someone or some people out of my life because they just aren't going to every be anything good to me and they will only continue to break my heart. I just don't deserve that...

I know there really isn't an answer to why these people are the way they are. I don't expect one. There will always be people like this and it sucks for good people like us. If my daddy were still here he would say, "Darlin, it doesn't matter what anyone else does to you, it's your reaction that shows who you are and what you've gone through, doesn't define who you are." He was really smart and I think that made a lot of sense. So, my reaction is, yes... it bothers me that there are people in this world who want nothing more than for me to be sad and angry... it would be weird for me not to care at all. I really hope that one day they realize that life isn't about that and they need to change. On the other hand, I still love my life, I am still so happy with my life and I am going to continue on about my business like before... Things like this just help me to really appreciate my true friends even more. I do love you guys. I know this is just life and another lesson learned.