I know that there is an answer to every question and that one day God is going to help me to understand everything that I was meant to be confused about while I had to be here. Knowing this helps me to be more patient. Knowing that I am not perfect and the God, (who is), has a plan and reason for everything that happens to us gives me the strength to be patient with all of the obstacles that I have to face.
All things work together for good. Bad things will happen and this is inevitable. You will be stressed and you will get pissed off from time to time. Good comes from everything that happens. Maybe not directly to you, but to someone in the world... and that is what is important. I have always been a really spiritual person although I have been really angry with God on many occasions. Some people probably wouldn't blame me if I said I never wanted to say anything about religion again after what I went through this year. Oddly enough, I find myself more faithful than ever... and maybe this is why what happened did happen... or at least one of the reasons why.
I know now that my life does have a great purpose. It's not just to have a job, get married and have kids either... Life is much much more than that. Life is about every single thing that you do and the reason or reasons behind why you are doing it. My dad used to tell me that there are plenty of people in the world who do great things but it doesn't mean shit because they are doing these good things for selfish reasons.
I guess the main reason I want to do the best I can at being a good person isn't because I want people to like me or so that I can gain anything for myself. I just look at it like we have a life full of trial and error and we only make it harder on ourselves by choosing to be negative or do selfish and bad things.
After all that Jesus went through so that I could go to heaven, I just feel like I at least owe him the best that I can do at being a good person. I understand that people have their own opinions about this world and why we're in in, etc... I just think it's common knowledge that doing things that are wrong to others and yourself only make your life more difficult. I get really frustrated when I have to deal with people who only live to hurt other people because I look at them and wonder what they must feel like inside. How could anyone actually enjoy taking the light out of someone else's life. I really do pity these people.
More and more lately I enjoy life's beauty and see how wonderful and miraculous just waking up everyday can be. I am so busy but I know it's for a great cause... the care of my son, the deterrence of criminals, and my future as a whole. I think that I have been getting tested, but it isn't a test i'm going to fail, because I am not meant to fail. Just because others try to drag you down to their level doesn't mean you have to go down there and keep them company and make them feel better about them being where they are at.
In conclusion, this may seem somewhat scattered and that's because it sort of is... so don't feel confused. I just have a lot on my mind. Having faith that God's plan is in motion and that things are happening for a reason keeps me going. I keep praying for understanding and I feel like I am beginning to get it. I have lost a lot... but I have gained a lot, too.
As far as what I don't like around me, I will be the change I wish to see in the world as my quote says... by leading by example at all times and always doing the right thing from the smallest of things to the largest. ;)
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