The Truth Hurts

Lying drives me up the wall. I don't understand it and I never have. I just cannot grasp why someone would risk ruining a relationship for attention, drama, excitement, or whatever the excuse may be. Some people fear what may happen if the truth comes out. They fear they will be embarrassed or disliked. No... You will be disliked for lying. So, tell the truth from the start.

I have now been in the law enforcement and criminal justice field for some time and by now I can pluck a liar out of the bunch like a bad tomato. I mostly just let lies and liars go (if they aren't too extreme) because if I pointed out every single lie or exaggeration that I heard or witnessed I would probable seem cynical, crazy, judgmental, and untrusting. It isn't that I am untrusting. I know that people lie. People lie to me every day at work. It's my job to catch them and weed through their stories to find the little spark of truth being doused by a flood of deception.

I have learned some important facts when it comes to lying:

Lying is always a form of control. Some people are pathological liars, having learned that they get a rush from manipulating others with lies. But most people lie when they are afraid of the consequences of telling the truth. Lying may be one end of a relationship system, with anger and judgment on the other end. Whether the relationship is a primary one between mates or between parents and children, or a relationship between friends or between co-workers, lying may be a part of it when fear of anger and judgment is an issue. Most people do not know how to handle another's anger and judgment and may revert to being the child they were when they learned to lie to their parents to avoid punishment.

You cannot tell every person who is lying to you that they are a liar. You have to pick your battles. There is no innocent person in this world and that is the most honest fact you will ever hear. The point is that wasteful lies and exaggerations CAN AND DO ruin relationships and important life interactions that could or would have been. Don't be a liar. Be honest. Be trustworthy. I get yelled at all of the time for my overly blunt way of communication but I will never be accused of sugar coating reality or being an untrustworthy companion. That is one thing that matters to me most. Maybe it should matter to you as well.